week sixteen: two thousand fifteen

2015? Probably one of the best years of my existence. First off, second semester last year was a breeze. Then, I made it to the sectional three-point shoot out and if that's not impressive I don't know what is. After that I had a pretty alright Track season except I don't think my times improved very much which was kind of sad, but I was taken to state as an alternate for the four by one hundred and two hundred meter relay. That was really exciting because I got to warm up with some of my closest friends and then sit in the stands and cheer my little booty off for them. Finally, senior year came around and it literally feels like school just started and that's scary because in just a little while I will be graduating and going to college for some profession I don't even know yet. Senior year has been pretty great so far though, I played some of the best golf I could ever imagine myself playing. I have a real pretty lady friend and we're super happy together which is nice cause seeing some of the couples in the hall we could probably be like them, but we aren't which is reeaal nice. Basketball season has been pretty rough so far though which blows cause it's my favorite and playing like garbage makes me sad. Other than that, it's been a 10 out of 10 year. Also, if Kanye would drop his album soon it would make this year 19 out of 10.

week fifteen: i just want it to snow

Hello there vagabond, Welcome to Illinois the home to bipolar weather. What you need to know about winter here is that it's inconsistent. It is either real cold or it will be pretty toasty, like this one currently. Personally I prefer the cold snowy ones. Why do I prefer the cold and snow you ask? Simply because there is nothing more pretty than barren white ground adorned by trees with snow-filled boughs. And then, the sun sets and I don't know if I've ever seen anything as beautiful, except for perhaps my lovely lady friend. The snow is also wonderful because you can use it as a fridge and to make radical snow forts out of. I'm assuming you've never driven through the snow at night. but I am assuming that you've seen Star Wars. Do you know when Han and Chewy are in the Millennium Falcon and then they zoom into hyperspace? Well, driving at night while it's snowing gives a similar visual effect and it's quite possibly the coolest you'll ever feel.

week fourteen: filthy north koreans

I have been given the most secret of missions in the history of secret missions. The manila folder actually didn't give me a mission at all, written inside was a time and a location. it said "weight room   3:15" which was perfect because that gave me enough time to say bye to my lady friend after school and then get to basketball practice in time, so whoever sent me the notice knew my schedule well. At three fifteen I arrived in the weight room. Waiting for me, was Mr. Fahs. He let me know how he was actually a secret CIA agent who underwent age transforming procedures to get in close with me. His real age, he didn't reveal, but by gazing into his soul through his eyeballs I guessed he was probably around 64 years old. Anyways, the reason he had me meet him there was so we could discuss the CIAs next big project and they couldn't succeed without my help. It was to take down the inside agent that North Korea had installed in our school to try to sabotage America. Honestly, it made no sense to me why they would send them here, but whatever. The assigned target to take out was the Ms. Hudson. After he told me that, everything started to click and I understood why she was such a grammar nazi, gore lover, and a persistent stickler. The plan was simple, all I had to do was follow it exactly and there wouldn't be any more problems. The trick was, during her training the North Koreans used a key word to make her break character at any given time. The word was accrementition. I managed to catch her in her room alone. I muttered the code word and she started blabbering away in Korean. The only word I understood was Kim Jong-Un. I called down to Mr. Fahs while keeping my eye on the intruder, and less than 27 seconds later a black unmarked helicopter came level with the window and two men in dark clothing captured "Ms. Hudson" ,if that's even her real name, and tossed her somewhat gently in the copter. The end. Then  hustled down to the locker room to get ready for basketball. The time was 3:22.

week thirteen: turkeys for days

Honestly, I don't know if turkeys even have thoughts. Also the turkey that my family gets comes from the grocery store and who knows how long it has actually been dead. But anyways, I suppose I'll pretend to be a turkey just for your pleasure.

It was a fine glorious day at Starsong Farm. The clouds were causing a few shady moments every now and again, but for the most part it was sunny and warm. That's when I saw the man drive down the drive way that I remember seeing twice before. Each time I saw him, Farmer Patrick would come out shortly after he left and slaughter the biggest turkeys he had, then he'd take them with him. The turkeys that were left have started to name this day as Turkey Day Massacre Day. I actually came up with that name. Anyways, this year I was the biggest turkey on the farm, so I started sweating cause I knew what was coming. However I didn't regret being the big turkey because I got all the lady turkeys and I got to eat first. I started to devise a plan for my escape. After my plan was for sure fool proof, I said goodbye to my turkey friends and then flew over the fence. The end.

week twelve: Basket Bubble

If I had to invent a game. I would name it something that didn't involve the word ball because I feel like just about every single game has the word ball in it. The arena would consist of a giant trampoline floor, rubbery walls for protection, those blow up ball things we used in P.E., two basketball hoops with giant hoops so you can jump through them. Rules of the game: No trash talking, trash talking results in immediate ejection from the game, Let people get off the ground before hitting them again. Those are all the rules. You score points by jumping through the hoop. Jumping through results in 2 points. There are 15 minute halves and each team has 2, 2 minute time outs. This game is called Basket Bubble.

week eleven: the chicken

I'll tell you why the chicken crossed the road. The chicken crossed the road because he thought to himself and was like "hey I'm pretty sure I've seen everything on this side of the road and it's all very drab and the food sucks and all of the chicken babes are gross and old." So then he got the grand idea of putting one step in front of the other and soon he was walking across the road. (yes I stole that last part from that one classic claymation Christmas movie. No I don't remember what it was called, but I'm pretty sure it involved young Santa.) Anyways, he crossed the road and it was even worse than the other side so he crossed back over and married a nasty old hen.